Sometimes it's obvious a man is insincere and only wants you for sex. But some guys are smooth and full of charm, and can make almost any woman feel like she's the only one for him. In reality, he's hooking up with different women simultaneously, sweet-talking his way into bed with them. He's a player, otherwise known as a womanizer, a playboy, or simply, a douche bag.
Don't get sucked into his web. Dating expert, Tamsen Fadal, co-author of Why Hasn't He Called?
and Don't Date Dumb
reveals eight tell-tale signs that you're dating a player who's only out to add you to his harem. If he's displaying some or all of these characteristics, flee asap!
1. He has the skills of a pickup artist
If it seems like he knows exactly what he's doing when he approaches you, he probably does. "If you have done something so many times, you are very very good at it," says Fadal. He's mastered the moves and the talk because he's had so much experience at picking up women. Make your excuses and walk away unless you want to be another name on his list of conquests.
2. He confuses things about you
He still thinks you love Italian cuisine, even though you've told him you like Japanese -- twice. It's not his memory that's the problem here but his inability to successfully juggle the many girls he's got on the go. "Guess what? You're not the only thing on his menu," says Fadal. "If you're not just another item, he will remember every detail."
3. He's pushy about getting physical
Can't keep his hands off you on the first date? If he's a player, he'll quickly make his sexual intentions clear and won't be apologetic if you tell him it's too soon. His persuasion is more likely to come in the form of sweet talking and compliments about how much he wants you. Ditch all thoughts of building a lasting relationship with a guy who acts like this -- he isn't after any form of commitment. "A guy who really cares about getting to know you for the long haul knows that time will not be his enemy," says Fadal.
4. His Facebook friends are mostly attractive females
If a quick scan of his Facebook friends list reveals that he's mostly connected to good-looking women, it strongly suggests he likes to surround himself with females. Watch out if those girls are posting messages like "let's hang out", "missing you" or "hey cutie" on his wall. "His female friends are probably girls whom he can also sleep with at his convenience with no strings attached," Fadal warns. "Run before you become one of the flock!"
5. He avoids getting-to-know-you talks
Men aren't always big on talking about their feelings but if a guy is interested in a real relationship with you, he'll want to get to know you on a deeper level and he'll want to let you into his world. So it's a definite red flag if he never ever wants to have a heart-to-heart convo. "This kind of talk is dangerous to a player," explains Fadal. The bottom line? "You can't trust a man who can't be real with his feelings."
6. He only makes last-minute plans to see you
Eleventh-hour plans to meet you are an obvious indication that you're way down the bottom of his list of priorities. "This guy is a total game player and he wants the best option," says Fadal. And this may sound blunt, but chances are he's gone through his other options and you are one of his last resorts. If he's only meeting you for sex, quit hoping that things will evolve into a meaningful relationship.
7. He says he's not relationship material
And laughs it off as a passing joke. But you should take his words seriously. Whether a guy straight-out tells you he's a commitment-phobe, incapable of monogamy or not marriage-material, they all mean the same thing -- "he's cheap material hidden behind slick moves and predictable game," cautions Fadal.
8. He promises the world but never delivers
How many times has he promised you fancy vacations and expensive gifts which never materialize? Players are smooth-talkers, but it's all just talk. "He never has to fulfil them because he's not going to stay around long enough," says Fadal. They're what he says to every girl to talk her into giving up the one thing he's after.